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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24268810">Fog to Forget</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryAmber/pseuds/AngryAmber'>AngryAmber</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lego Ninjago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brotherly Love, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Hugging, Ice Emperor Zane, Post-Season/Series 11, Shame, Trauma, Zane needs a hug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:42:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,122</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24268810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryAmber/pseuds/AngryAmber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 12</p><p>It has been a few days since Zane was saved from his corruption and returned to Ninjago. Almost everything was back to normal, except it wasn’t. </p><p>Zane hadn’t forgotten about what had happened in the Never Realm. He hadn’t forgotten about what he had done.</p><p>OR</p><p>Zane feels ashamed of what he did as the Ice Emperor and Lloyd comforts him. They bond.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Zane &amp; Lloyd Garmadon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fog to Forget</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do not own Ninjago nor any of these characters. Please support the original TV show created by the LEGO group.</p><p>I feel like season 11 has so much fanfiction potential and I’m surprised that not a lot of people are writing about it.</p><p>Oh well :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cold.</p><p>It consumed him. He felt it in his body, it stiffened his joints and it made his armour weigh down his limbs even more. He felt it in his mind, it slowed down all of his thoughts and turned him into an empty husk. </p><p>Numbness.</p><p>It was all he knew of for decades and decades. He felt it crawl up his body and enter his mind. It controlled his thoughts and everything he did. </p><p>It was all he could think of when he thought of the Never Realm. The ice. The rage. The death. The pain. He remembered all of it. </p><p>And it was all his fault.</p><p>He could still feel the bitter and unforgiving frigidity consume him as he slept. It clawed at him, it taunted him. It would not let him forget the feeling. It would not let him forget the things he had done.</p><p>He would never forget. The ice emperor could never be forgotten. </p><p>Zane shivered and clenched his fists tightly. He couldn’t think straight. It was like that ever since he returned home. It was almost like a thick fog had settled in his mind and nothing could make it fade away. </p><p>He felt tired. What he would give to drift away into pleasant dream, one that wasn’t plagued by visions of his friend lying beaten and concussed in the throne room.</p><p>What he would give to forget this whole thing. To forget about the emperor. Forget...</p><p>“Zane? Zane!”</p><p>The nindroid’s eyes snapped open and he leaped back with a startled cry. He didn’t notice the broomstick laying on its side behind him until he tripped over and landed heavily on his back. He breathed heavily, unable to get up by himself.</p><p>A green-clad figure stood over him and cautiously held out his hand towards the fallen nindroid. Finally catching his breath and calming down, Zane accepted the hand and pulled himself to his feet with a rough groan. The two figures stood in silence.</p><p>Lloyd finally cleared his throat. He turned to the other ninja, concern clearly written on his face. </p><p>“I’m sorry I scared you like that”, he said, “you just seemed really distressed. You seemed to have, uh, covered the railing in ice...” </p><p>Zane raised his eyes suddenly and scanned the bounty’s wooden railing. It was indeed covered with a thin layer of ice. He could vaguely remember tightly gripping the railing, it was probably why his knuckles hurt so much. He rubbed his frigid hands together and sighed metallically. </p><p>“I sorry Lloyd”, he mumbled, “I was just thinking of a lot of, uh, stuff.”</p><p>Lloyd nodded understandingly,  somewhat knowing what he was thinking of. He gently took his arm and gestured towards the sleeping quarters. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it? Cleaning time ended a few minutes ago, Sensei won’t mind.” </p><p>Zane was about to object, but the cold fog in his mind grew even colder. He winced slightly. Lloyd’s concerned expression grew even deeper. He gave Zane’s arm a gentle tug and lead him towards the sleeping quarters. This time, he did not protest.</p><p>The white ninja allowed his friend to take him downstairs. The journey was all a blur to him and his mind kept drifting elsewhere, so he let Lloyd steer him where he needed to go. A door opened and Zane was set down on a bed. He hazily remembered it as the bed he used when they would travel somewhere on the bounty. He gripped the sheets, seeking comfort from the familiar feeling. It warmed his hands, which would have calmed him a little if it didn’t remind him why his hands were freezing in the first place. </p><p>Lloyd quietly closed the door and turned on the light. He walked over to the bed Zane was sitting on and sat down next to him. The nindroid looked into his friend’s eyes, who’s expression clearly said not need to rush, only tell me when you’re ready’.</p><p>Zane averted his gaze from Lloyd’s and stared at the floor instead. He desperately searched through the fog in his mind to find something, anything, to help him. He was aware of the benefits of talking about his feelings, but how could he do that if he couldn’t think of what he was feeling in the first place. </p><p>He gripped the sheets even tighter, his nails tearing a hole in the fibres. Finally, he settled on the first thing that came to mind. It was better than nothing.</p><p>“I feel like... like a... a mess,” he mumbled, “I can’t think clearly at all. When I do think clearly, it’s always... something bad”</p><p>Lloyd urged him to continue. Zane sighed softly. </p><p>“I thought I could leave it behind Lloyd. I try and I try to forget about it,” his breath started to shudder a little, “I know things turned out okay in the end, but I still feel this guilt, no, shame, about what I had become.” He stopped, it seemed that talking was taking a lot more effort than it used to. A tight feeling formed in his chest.</p><p>“I am aware that this isn’t easy for you Zane,” Lloyd nodded, “this kind of stuff is never easy,” Zane sensed some other meaning behind his words, but he dismissed it. </p><p>“It’s important to realise that you were never to blame for what had happened in the Never Realm. That scroll shouldn’t have been made in the first place. It was bound to end badly either way”</p><p>Zane frowned slightly. He tried to believe it was true, but something was eating at him. </p><p>“But... I chose to use it. I was the one who was corrupted, so aren’t I the one to blame?” </p><p>“No Zane you...”</p><p>“I was aware of my actions the entire time you know. I sent army after army to decimate villages. I committed genocide Lloyd! Genocide! Am I really the good guy here?”</p><p>“I sure it was Vex who sent the armies to the villages. He was manipulative and it’s more likely that he was the one who was ruling over you, not the other way around. He tricked you.”</p><p>“And I believed him” Zane growled, the knot in his chest growing tighter. </p><p>“I believed that wretched little snake. I believed him and it caused everyone to suffer. Do you know how it feels? To be created to protect others and I couldn’t even do that? Protecting was my entire purpose, and I failed! Scroll or no scroll, Vex or no Vex, I chose to sit on that throne and cause the suffering of an entire realm! “</p><p>Zane brought his knees up to his chin and hugged his legs, completely and utterly defeated. He didn’t notice the tears that were spilling from his eyes and staining the fabric on his knees. He let out a shuddering breath, which quickly hitched when he felt a comforting hand on his back. He didn’t dare look up. </p><p>“Zane,” Lloyd said, “you are not a bad person and you know it. If you didn’t have the scroll with you, you would have refused to become the emperor. Right?”</p><p>Zane said nothing and absentmindedly wiped his eyes. Lloyd gently squeezed his shoulder. </p><p>“Zane, would you have refused to have become the emperor?” He repeated. </p><p>The nindroid slowly closed his eyes before giving a small nod. Lloyd nodded back.</p><p>“You weren’t yourself. I know for a fact that the real Zane; the real you, wouldn’t do this.” The white ninja was about to protest, but the green ninja sternly cut him off. He got up from his sitting position and and stood in front of the robot. He place both his hands on his shoulders and looked into his glowing eyes.</p><p>“Do you remember when we were still pretty young? When I was possessed by Wu’s old student?” </p><p>Zane remembered it too well. He couldn’t have imagined what his friend had felt with his body being controlled against his will. It was a long time ago, so he wondered why it was being brought up now.</p><p>Lloyd saw the question in his eyes, so he persisted.</p><p>“I had similar feelings when it was all over. When you a controlled or manipulated by someone or something, you start to question your own morality.”</p><p>Lloyd shuddered a little. It was a distant memory, but it still came back to haunt him every now and then.</p><p>Zane spoke again for the first time in a few minutes. </p><p>“But your experience was different from mine. Someone was controlling your body and you couldn’t make any of the decisions. I wasn’t. I was the one giving orders and I was in complete control of my own body. I made my own decisions”</p><p>Lloyd raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Were you though?” He asked, “From what I have seen, Vex was the one who made the decisions for you. In your weakened state, it‘s pretty easy to take orders from someone you believe to be your trusted advisor.”</p><p>Zane tried to think of a counter argument, but couldn’t. Lloyd did have a point there. He remembered how Vex would tell the emperor what he should do and he would relay the message to his servants. The scroll he was constantly in possession of clouded his judgement and his ability to think for himself. Was he really in control?</p><p>“From my experience with Morro, I learned this: You are not responsible for another person’s actions. For a long time, I was spiralling with guilt. I kept thinking of all the things I could have done to prevent tho whole possession. He had used my body for his personal gain, so I believed I was to blame. But it wasn’t true</p><p>“Vex had used your weakened memory and your powers for his personal gain. He is the one you should be mad at. Heck, you should be mad at Aspheera for banishing you to the Never Realm! Constantly blaming yourself for something you couldn’t control isn’t going to help anything. None of us think you are a bad person Zane, and don’t you forget it.”</p><p>The nindroid looked into his friend’s eyes for any sign of doubt or deceit. All he found though, was empathy and love. Lloyd still believed in him after all this time, the best he could do was believe that Lloyd’s words were true.</p><p>Without thinking, Zane pulled him into a hug. Tears began to stream down his face again, but he didn’t care. For the first time, he realised how affection-starved he was. It made sense, doing nothing but freezing on a throne for decades can really take a toll on your mental stability.</p><p>After what seemed like forever, Zane broke away from the hug with his face wet from crying. The nindroid swore he could see a couple of tears in Lloyd’s eyes as well. </p><p>“Do you want to stay in here and rest for a bit? I can tell the others,” he asked.</p><p>Zane immediately declined the request. </p><p>“I would rather go back to the temple. It’s not the same without all of you,” he responded. Lloyd nodded understandingly and walked over to the door. </p><p>After turning out the lights, the pair left the room and walked upstairs to the deck of the Destiny’s Bounty. It was late afternoon and the sun was resting behind a distant mountain. Zane rested his hand on the railing (which was now completely devoid of ice) and looked out at the view. </p><p>“Hey Lloyd, can I ask you something?” He asked, feeling slightly nervous.</p><p>The blonde gestured for the nindroid to go ahead. He took a deep breath before speaking.</p><p>“How do you forget about it? How do you forget about all those things you were forced to do?” he asked, his chest tightening again. Lloyd went over the question for a few seconds before responding.</p><p>“I’ve never forgotten,” he said simply, “you can never forget about something like that, no matter how hard you try. The best thing you can do is learn from it. Only then can you grow stronger and move on.</p><p>“I still hate Morro with all of my being, but at least I know who to be mad at. I know it wasn’t my fault and I spend each day trying to make up for what he did.”</p><p>Zane smiled slightly. He still felt guilty about what happened, but deep down he knew that Lloyd was telling the truth. </p><p>His smile suddenly turned into a confused frown. Something seemed weird. Something in his mind was different and he pondered over what it could be. When he finally found out what it was, his smile came back. Only this time, it was wider.</p><p>The fog had cleared.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know if there are any glaring problems or errors. I wrote this late at night so there may be some things I overlooked.</p><p>I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. I really liked season 11 and it’s in my top 3 favourite seasons. </p><p>Have a nice day/night!</p><p>-A.A</p></blockquote></div></div>
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